"Surviving
Infidelity: Why Do People Cheat or Have Extramarital Affairs?"
One of
the questions you undoubtably have if you've been cheated
on is why it happened. You've probably asked yourself this
question dozens of times. And you may feel that you need to
know why the affair happened in order to keep it from happening
again.
According
to marriage and family counsellor Dr. Frank Ginzburg, the
one who has cheated operates under the mistaken notion that
going outside the relationship will solve his/her problems
or fulfill his/her needs in some way.
The "reason"
that he/she has done what he/she has done could be any number
of things. Dr. Ginzburg goes on to list some common themes:
1. Some
people cheat because they aren't getting their needs met inside
the relationship. They no longer feel special in the relationship
and they are under the deluded notion that going outside the
relationship is a legitimate answer. It isn't.
2. In
some cases people cheat because they have never learned to
honor boundaries. They may know the boundaries are there,
but they have little hesitation about stepping over them.
3. Some
people are thrill seekers that just can't pass up the opportunity
to get a thrill. The very fact that these people are doing
something that is taboo compels them to engage in the affair.
4. Similarly,
some men think that they are not a real man if they turn down
a sexual invitation from someone attractive.
5. Some
people have low self-esteem and they get a sense of self-worth
through finding people who care about them.
6. In
some cases people have sexual fetishes that their partners
have problems with so they go outside the relationship in
order to fulfill these sexual desires.
Whatever
the reason the affair happened, the person who has cheated
can choose to do some personal work on themselves and re-committ
to the relationship.
How do
you keep it from happening again?
If there
is one thing that increases the chances of another affair
happening, it is neglect. Neglect is a poison that eats away
the foundation of your relationship.
According
to Dr. Ginzburg, there are three ways that you can neglect
your relationship:
1. You
can neglect your own needs,
2. You
can neglect your partner's needs,
3, You
can neglect both your needs and your partner's needs.
To find
out more reasons why people in relationships or marriages
cheat or have extramarital affairs, we invite you to sign
up for a free email course by marriage and family counsellor
Dr. Frank Gunzburg PhD who has specialized in helping couples
heal their relationship from an affair since 1978.
"Discover
How to Restore the Trust After An Affair - FREE Course"
"I'll show you how to end the pain,
restore the trust, ask the tough questions, and most
importantly, determine exactly how your marriage or
relationship can be saved after an affair AND how likely
it is that an affair will happen again (and what you
can do right now to prevent it)..."
Dr. Frank Gunzburg
Download this FREE new 7-step email course from Dr.
Frank Gunzburg and start learning today how to restore
the trust back into your relationship.
You'll learn...
How to start the healing process after an affair
How to cope with initial trauma of the affair
How to take control of your emotions and stay sane
How to get the images out of your mind
How to talk about the details of the affair
Why the affair happened and how to prevent it from happening
again
Steps for restoring the trust back into the relationship
Simply add your name and email below and press the
button that say's "Grant Me Access." After
that happens in 30 seconds we will email you part 1.
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Dr. Frank Gunzburg is a licensed counselor
in Maryland and has been specializing is helping couples restore
their marriage for over 30 years. He is also the author of
How to Survive an Affair, a step-by-step healing system that
can help a couple repair their relationship after it has been
shattered from an affair.
If your
relationship has been damaged by an affair and you would like
a step-by-step system for repairing your relationship, then
please visit Dr. Gunzburg's site for more information: http://www.surviveanaffair.com
This article
was used by permission from How to Survive An Affair.
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