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Cheating Wife? What Does This Mean For your Marriage
if you think your wife is cheating?
by Susie and Otto Collins
A Cheating
Wife doesn't always mean that your marriage is over but if your wife is
cheating or you suspect that she is cheating-then whether you realize it or not
your marriage is in serious trouble.
If your wife is cheating it
can mean several things and the most important is that she is not getting what
she wants from her marriage. This is plain talk but it's true.
Why is Your
Wife Cheating? If your wife is cheating on you, then you can absolutely be sure
that she wants more than she is getting from you in your marriage.
In our relationship coaching practice with couples where the wife has
been cheating and wants more, contrary to what some people would have you
believe, this isn't necessarily about how much time you spend in the bedroom.
The cheating is probably about many other factors that have little to do with
sex.
If your wife is cheating on you (or you suspect that she is) then
this means one of two things about your marriage: 1) Either your marriage is in
trouble and she is having an affair and unconsciously hoping to get caught so
that it will be a wake up call and you'll really get the message that she is
unhappy and wants more or 2) She is cheating because she feels that there's
little hope for the marriage and has decided to get her needs met no matter
what.
Whatever your wife's motivation is for cheating, you have some big
decisions to make and these decisions will probably be better made sooner
rather than later. If you even suspect that your wife is cheating… then
the BIG questions you need to ask yourself are "do you really love her?" and
"are you willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild your marriage now?"
The natural reaction of most men when they find out that their wife
is cheating on them is to become upset, angry and close down to her. While this
is a normal and natural reaction, this reaction will not help you rebuild your
marriage and relationship with your wife.
We're not suggesting that
you should approve of the fact that your wife is cheating on you. Quite the
contrary--what we are suggesting that you do is to use this as a sign to let
you know how serious that challenges are in your marriage and about the work
that is to be done if you are to heal it and get back to a more loving place.
A cheating wife doesn't always mean that your marriage is over. It
does mean that you have serious challenges in from of you that must be
addressed if you are to save this marriage. Many of our relationship coaching
clients have asked us in the past "if my wife is cheating on me can my marriage
be saved?" Our answer is always-"that depends on the two of you."
In a marriage or relationship where both people truly want to save
the marriage then it can be done. We've seen it happen over and over again. One
thing's for sure: if the love is still there and the commitment to rebuild the
marriage is still there then with some work, you can have a good marriage once
again.
On the other hand-if one or both of you is not sure
what you want or is more interested in holding onto your upset and anger than
in rebuilding the marriage then there are other questions that are going to
have to be looked at as well.
If you suspect that your
wife has been cheating and want to know whether you should stay in our leave
your relationship… We have an excellent resource for helping you know what
is best for you. It's our book and audio program called "Should You stay or
should you go?" This book and program offers the most important questions you
need to answer in order to decide whether you should stay or go. Get complete details by
clicking here.
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