"Relationship Advice
for knowing when the keep the peace and when to speak up"
By Susie and Otto Collins
Here's a great communication question that many people struggle
with...
"Sometimes,
I just want to keep the peace, not rock the boat and just
let things get better or blow over. I don't want to argue,
fight and stay mad all the time like I was
in my previous relationship. Is this a good thing?"
We can
certainly understand the desire to keep the peace in any relationship,
especially when a previous one was filled with conflict and
anger.
Peace,
no matter what the cost, can look pretty good after years
of constant fighting.
While
letting things "blow over" can seem like the answer
to keeping a relationship peaceful (and in some cases, it
can be), it might not always be the answer and here's why...
If you
feel that you are never able to say what you are thinking
or feeling without creating continuing conflict and you have
to agree to keep the peace, there are usually
consequences and they can happen in a couple of ways...
--Resentment
is created and comes out against other people and in other
situations that you didn't intend.
--Physical
and emotional problems can manifest in your body.
Are we
saying the you never let issues that come up just work themselves
out or let them "blow over"?
Of course
not.
Here are
a few questions to ask yourself when considering whether to
"rock the boat" or not...
1. How
important is this issue to me?
2. Is
there really a problem if the other person has another perspective
on this than mine?
3. Is
this any of my business or am I trying to control the situation
for other people?
4. Am
I insisting that my way is better or is there another way
that might work as well?
5. What's
the possible outcome of this situation one week from now,
5 years from now, 10 years from now if I don't address this
issue and leave it alone?
6. If
I don't address this issue, what physical or emotional problems
might I create for myself?
7. How
can I listen to the other person and understand his or her
point of view?
Part of
it has to do with your attitude and intentions.
If you
are fearing an argument and you brace yourself for one, that's
what you'll probably get.
If your
heart is open, you're open to listening and you have the attitude
of "let's make this work for both of us," you just
might get cooperation or a solution that works for both of
you.
For
a free relationship report, visit http://www.RelationshipReverse.com
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Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors of "Should You
Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More Jealousy" are experts at helping people
get more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more
loving relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
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