"Why We Sabotage our Relationships"
By Relationship
Coaches, Susie and Otto Collins
Why do
we sabotage what we really want in our relationships and lives?
That's a great question and one we've been
living with for the past week in our own lives
and we're sure that you've run across it too
in your own life.
There are many possible reasons why people
unconsciously sabotage something that's going well. One of
the main ways is having the belief that "I don't deserve
the happiness, the praise, the passion, the good feelings,
the money etc."
There seems to be an imaginary ceiling that
allows just so much happiness, success, passion, money or
anything else that we say we want in our lives.
Many people are afraid that their relationships won't last
or they feel that he or she will leave them anyway so somehow,
either consciously or unconsciously, they do something to
push the other person away.
We've seen this scenario a lot when there's
jealousy.
We allow fears--such as fear of abandonment
(either physically or emotionally), beliefs such as "I'm
not enough," "I don't deserve happiness" and
so on --to keep us from having the great relationships and
lives that are available to all of us.
These fears are for the most part unconscious
and we might not even be aware of them.
While we are continually working on this within our own relationship
and lives, we'll offer you a few suggestions that have helped
us untangle ourselves when we experience this.
1. The obvious thing would be to first identify
your beliefs and fears that are holding you back from having
the relationships and life that you want.
What is it that you believe, even on a deep
subconscious level?
2. Once you've identified these beliefs and fears, then we
would invite you to explore whether you are willing or not
to allow them to keep you from having the relationships and
life that you want.
Are you willing to change those beliefs?
3. Make a commitment to allow yourself to feel good and to
have what you want.
A belief is like a habit and if you don't like one that holds
you back, you can change it--one thought at a time.
4. Understand that chaos and disruption in your life is normal
and you should expect it when you challenge old ways of being
and take on a new belief system--especially one that is empowering.
People may be used to you acting in a certain
way and they might be uneasy when you begin to change.
5. When or if your life feels overwhelming, take a moment,
breathe and center yourself. If you do, you will find a calmness
in your chaos and you'll be able to move forward from joy
and not fear.
As Les Brown, the famous motivational speaker, said, "You
can always better your best." We take that to mean that
you don't have to settle for what you don't want in your life.
You can have what you want.
In every relationship that you have (even the one you have
with yourself), we urge you to start being as conscious as
possible in all ways. Consider whether your words and actions
will build the relationship and take it higher or weaken and
possibly destroy it.
Take some time to figure out if and how you sabotage yourself
from having the relationships and life that you want. If you
do, we think your life will just get better!
*****************************
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins,
authors of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More
Jealousy" are experts at helping people get more of the love
they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more loving
relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
To
discover more about how to create deeper intimacy in relationships,
visit http://www.TheIntimacySecrets.com.
*********************************
Permission to reprint this article is given as long as the
above bio, including website link, is included in its entirety.
|
