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Marriage Help and
Advice
"Instant Relationship
Breakthroughs" pt.2 by Susie and Otto Collins
An instant relationship
breakthrough is one moment when one or both of you make a shift to do, say or
act differently and there's an opening, a sense of understanding or feeling of
connection and communion in the relationship.
If your intention is to create
these breakthroughs, then you will create the type of relationships that you
want and have more love, passion, intimacy and connection.
To give you an idea of what
we're talking about, here are a few more "Instant Relationship Breakthroughs"
that you can begin practicing right now to make your relationships better...
Instant Relationship Breakthrough Idea #3 --Make a definite "yes" or
a "no"
"Yes or no" is a way of discerning emotions--a measurement tool
for gauging your emotions and making quicker decisions on how you want to run
your life and for getting unstuck.
We are constantly making
choices, either consciously or unconsciously, about how we will use our time,
who we will be with, and what we will do.
All these decisions (or lack of
decisiveness) positively or negatively affect our happiness. When we don't make
a definite "yes" or "no," we get stuck in "maybe" land and others decide for us
by default how we'll live our lives.
When people get stuck in "maybe"
land, they tend to become angry and resentful but the fact is they didn't make
a choice.
Here's an example of what we're talking about...
Imagine you and
your husband or wife decide to go to the local movie theater this Friday night.
There are several possible choices of movies at your theater and you begin
talking about what you'd like to see with your partner or friend.
Imagine that
your spouse has a strong preference toward one movie and you'd really like to
see another but you don't say anything. You give your spouse a weak, "maybe" or
"I don't care" and end up seeing the movie they wanted to see.
Later, you feel resentful and
angry because this always seems to happen and you "never get to see the movie
that you want to see."
A breakthrough moment is when you empower yourself and express
what you want, giving a clear "yes" or "no."
A lot of people feel anger and
resentment toward others but what they actually may be feeling is resentment
towards themselves for not having the confidence to go for what they really
want.
So how do
you know whether a decision you are faced with is a "yes" or a "no"?
1. When someone
asks you to do something or a choice is before you, take a moment to quiet
yourself and breathe.
2. Check in with how you are feeling inside. To practice this,
think of a definite "yes" in your life, something you are absolutely certain
about. It might be "I'm a great dancer" or "I'm a good cook" or even "I have
green eyes."
When you think of the "yes," what do you feel inside your body?
Where do you feel it?
When there's a "yes" for Otto, he feels a strength inside
himself and a sense of expansion. Now think of a definite "no" in your life.
What does it feel like in your body?
When there's a "no" for both of
us, there's a sinking and heaviness in our solar plexus and chest. This feeling
may be somewhere else for you and it might not be a sinking feeling or
heaviness. It might be a dull ache or feeling of being uncomfortable.
Whenever we are
faced with a decision, if we take the time to go within, we can feel whether
something is a "yes" or a "no." By doing this, we bypass the wishy-washy place
of being stuck in "maybe."
This doesn't just apply to making decisions about which movie to
see. We invite you to do this exercise of consciousness on a regular basis
about all the things in your life.
When you do, you will be clear
about who you are and what you are feeling so there's no chance of assumptions
being created that get in the way of connecting with others.
Ask yourself these questions...
1. Where do you
feel a "yes" in your body?
2. Where do you feel a "no" in your body?
3. In what areas of your life do
you need to give a clear "yes" or "no"?
4. What are you willing to do to
begin practicing this?
If you're interested in finding out more our other "Instant
Relationship Breakthroughs," visit
http://www.InstantRelationshipBreakthroughs.com
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Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors of "Should You
Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More Jealousy" are experts at helping people
get more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more
loving relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
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