Cynthia is one of our newsletter subscribers and she suggested
that the power of laughter, fun and having a humorous attitude
is a great way to keep relationships growing, alive and connected
and we totally agree with her.
Norman Cousins, in his books "Anatomy of an Illness"
and "Head First," proved that laughter creates endorphins
within the body that actually helps promote healing when physical
illness is present. Cousins cured his cancer by watching funny
movies, reading jokes, books, and listening to tapes of comedy
performances. Laughter truly was his medicine.
A few years ago, Robin Williams starred in a film about a
physician in West Virginia named Patch Adams who used humor
as part of his "bed side manner" to help ease the
pain of children who had been diagnosed as terminally ill.
So the point is--if laughter can heal sick people and ease
their pain, imagine what it can do for your relationships.
In our relationship, we've found that laughter is a great
way for us to connect.
We've been taking a few days off vacationing with friends
at Folly Island beach and we've had a great time watching
the dogs romp and play on the beach. We were awed by the black
lab who caught the frisbee perfectedly each time her owner
threw it.
As we walked along the water's edge, we laughed as we watched
other dogs run and play in the cold, ocean waves. They were
having so much fun that we found ourselves
having an equally good time watching them.
You don't have to go to the beach to enjoy the connection
of fun and laughter.
Here are some suggestions for bringing more fun and laughter
into your life:
1. If you're in a marriage or committed relationship, do
something together that would be fun for both of you. Find
something that you haven't done in a long time that used to
bring you laughter and joy and do it. It might even be something
new that you try.
Rent a funny movie, watch and play with little kids or play
catch with a dog.
It doesn't have to be something that's planned and is sometimes
best when the experience is spontaneous.
Our walk on the beach was a spontaneous experience for us,
as well as the unexpectant fun of watching the dogs running
and playing.
2. Laugh at yourself when you find that you are taking yourself
too seriously. We do this when we see that we've fallen into
old patterns that haven't served us and we can look at ourselves
from a vantage point outside of ourselves. Laughter can really
break through disconnection if it's not done at another's
expense.
Here's a great idea for reframing a situation when there's
been disconnection between two people. In challenging situations,
people are fond of saying "Someday we'll look back on
this and laugh." We suggest that instead of waiting until
later to look at the situation and laugh, why don't we laugh
now and create
a closer connection.
That certainly doesn't mean abdicating responsibility or
making fun of another person.
Otto remembered something that happened a few years ago that
beautifully illustrates this idea...
He and his son stopped at a restaurant to eat while on their
way to his son's basketball game. As Otto got out of his car,
he realized
that he had just locked his keys inside. Ordinarily this would
have been one of those tense times when he might say that
it's not funny now but we'll look on it later and laugh about
it.
Otto chose not to get upset about it and instead enjoyed
his lunch with his son while waiting for help to arrive to
unlock the car unlocked. What Otto and his son did was laugh
about the situation by telling other stories about locked
keys in cars to break the tension of the prospect that they
might be late for the game. They weren't late for the game
and they ended up having a great time that day together.
So what we suggest is to take every opportunity to have fun
and laugh this week.
We hope that you use this article as a reminder to open to
having more fun and laughter in your life to help keep your
relationships alive and growing now and always.