"Can You Create Passion Out of
Thin Air"
By Susie and Otto Collins
If you've
been in a relationship or marriage for awhile--you've had
kids or you job has been demanding--you may be wondering how
or if you can start feeling passion.
Maybe
you never felt it to the extent that you want--so your question
might be this...
Can you
create passion out of thin air?
or is what you've got in your relationship or
marriage as good as it gets?
Here's
a question and our response about this really important topic...
"I
just purchased the Red
Hot Love ebook and am interested in other books of yours.
"Mainly,
I am interested in creating passion in my marriage.
"My
husband and I have a great relationship - it is a full partnership
and we communicate 100% - but it is very lukewarm (for me,
not him - he is full of passion for me).
"We
have been married 6 years and married young (18) and the circumstances
surrounding our marriage were complicated (for immigration
purposes) but I decided he
would be a good life partner and went through with it.
"However,
I don't think I was ever (or am currently) in love with him.
But he is a wonderful man and I care for him deeply, and I
want nothing more than to BE in love with him and stay married
to him.
"Although
I think he is really attractive, I don't have any real desire
to be intimate or kiss with him - I am just going through
the motions.
"How
can I achieve a deep level of intimacy with this man that
I love? Is it possible for me to fall in love with my husband?
Is it possible for my heart to listen to my mind? Or am I
chasing something that will never be? It just makes me so
sad."
>>>OUR COMMENTS:
Thanks
for your question!
Although
your situation may seem to be different because you seemed
to marry for reasons other than "zingy and passionate"
love--
From the
looks of the emails we get , there are many others who feel
that they are no longer attracted to their partner--or maybe
never were attracted and it's a very real
problem.
A lot
of times the problem with passion, connection and desire that
isn't there for that other person is because of "trust
issues" or "poor communication."
If trust
is an issue for the two of you, you might want to check out
our "Relationship
Trust Turnaround" program.
That doesn't
sound like the case here. It sounds like you may not have
ever had real desire and passion to begin with and that's
a real sticky one...
So, if
we're hearing your question correctly, you want to know if
it is possible for you to fall in "love" with your
husband and achieve a deep level of intimacy when it may not
have been there all along.
We call
this-- "manufacturing passion and connection."
First
of all like many others, you're saying that you "love"
him but are not "in love" with him.
We suggest
that you define within yourself what "in love" means
to you.
What's
the feeling that you want to have?
...and
something else that's really important to ask yourself is--
have you ever had it before?
Allow
yourself to daydream--not about a particular person but rather
what it would feel like to have this feeling.
Next,
since you bought our "Red Hot Love Relationships"
ebook, there are 77 ideas in that book to help you connect
on a deeper, more passionate level.
One of
the ideas we talk in the book is to never stop flirting--
and we suspect that practicing a little flirting might be
good for you--and your relationship.
You may
have put your husband in a box--the box that says "You're
a good man, you want me but you don't excite me."
We suggest
that if you want more passion, take him out of this "box"
and open your heart to having a different experience with
him.
Here's
another issue...
You say
that your communication is 100%.
While
we're sure that on many topics you do
communicate well, when it comes to passion and intimacy--you
don't!
Without
hurting his feelings, ask him if he'd like to do some experimenting.
One idea
is to touch each other slowly with music playing in the background--only
touch and nothing more.
There's
a trick to this...
Keep your
mind on what you love about him and not allow it to move to
what's missing or what's for dinner.
Can we
guarantee that you'll fall madly in love with your husband?
Of course
not.
Do you
deserve to feel real passion?
Of course
you do.
We suggest
that you start to explore ways to heighten your desire--and
that takes an
openness on your part and a willingness to
look at your husband and your situation
differently.
You and
your husband deserve at least this much!
One other
quick suggestion we'll make is to start to be more "playful"
with each other and make a real effort to "play"
more together.
This is
a little different than our earlier suggestion of flirting
more often.
Sometimes
this "playing" can liven things up
between to people. We're talking fun here.
Make you
start looking for ways to have more fun.
*******************************
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins,
authors of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More
Jealousy" are experts at helping people get more of the love
they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more loving
relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
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