|
|
Attract Your Perfect Partner
"Finding Your Perfect Partner"
by Susie and Otto Collins
A woman we'll call "Jane"
thought she was a great "catch" and a "perfect partner" but she wondered why
her relationships always seemed to fail.
Here's what she wrote to us-- "I
dated men of various ages and cultures but all my relationships ended up in
disaster. I constantly searched, hoping for love to come my way. Then I started
reading your newsletters. I carried a lot of personal baggage from my past and
set unrealistic standards and expectations for my lovers hoping they would fail
because I was afraid to fail. I was afraid they would hurt me and disappoint
me, so I made sure I would be in control when they did."
In this situation, Jane has an
incredible opportunity in front of her. She can continue as she has been, being
fearful and attracting people who will disappoint her or she can learn from
what she has discovered about her patterns from the past.
It's been our experience that we attract the people into our
lives who show us what we need to heal within ourselves, new possibilities for
the future, and the contrast of what we want and don't want in our lives. We
take the rather contrarian view that there are no relationship mistakes or
failures and only opportunities to heal, learn, grow and experience joy.
Even though
"Jane" thought her relationships were failures, each one was actually another
chance to become more emotionally aware of what was going on inside her, what
she wanted for her life and to give her an opportunity to heal and create new
ways to do it differently.
What we have found is that we keep attracting the same type of
person, not just intimate partners, and experiences into our lives until we
heal the past and "do it differently."
Otto's car is a black Buick
Century with leather seats. He's very hot natured and since we live in Ohio
where the summers are very hot and humid, he suffers in his "hot" car.
He loved the
way the car looked on the showroom floor, but his day-to- day experience has
given him a powerful lesson of what he doesn't want in a car.
As you can imagine, he's made a
clear intention through the power of contrast that his next car will not be
black or have leather seats.
He had an opportunity to learn this lesson when he was 18 years
old and drove a black Ford Pinto station wagon with no air-conditioning to
Tampa, Florida at the beginning of August. He swore then as he sat in traffic
with sweat dripping onto the steering wheel that he'd never have another black
car.
Obviously,
he hadn't learned this lesson so he needed to bring another black car into his
experience. The point is that Otto has finally learned from this valuable
experience and will do it differently the next time, although he really likes a
lot about his current car.
This story is an example of coming to an awareness of what you
want and what you don't want and of learning from past experiences that are not
"failures" but are opportunities for expansion and growth.
Please don't misunderstand us
and think that we are recommending that because you don't like something about
your current partner or job that you "throw them away" and get another "model."
What we are
recommending is that you take the opportunity to become emotionally aware, like
"Jane" did, as much of the time as possible.
Decide that you deserve to have
a great relationship and a great life, whatever that means to you. We are
inviting you to learn from the past and the power of contrast so that you can
begin creating the life you want.
Here are some ideas to help
you...
1.
Whenever something is important to you, don't stuff it down and pretend it
doesn't matter. Have the courage to share it with your partner.
2. Accept
responsibility for your part in past relationships that haven't worked out the
way you wanted them to work out. Look for reoccurring patterns that will show
you where you need to heal.
3. Know that there's no such thing as failure in relationships,
only experiences that you may not have enjoyed.
4. Embrace the idea that no
matter what has happened in your relationships up until now, the future can be
different. So in a sense, each person who comes into our lives is "the perfect
partner" for us if we use these experiences that we have with them to heal,
learn and grow.
*****************
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors of "Should You
Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More Jealousy" are experts at helping people
get more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more
loving relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
*********************
|
|
|
|
