"Choosing the
Best Gift for the One You Love"
by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
Who would
have thought that gift-giving might be a stumbling block for
couples who want to create more passion, intimacy and connection
in their relationship--but it certainly can be!
Because of this and the fact that the holiday season is almost
upon us here in the US when we typically give gifts to the
people closest to us, we wanted to share some insights about
gift-giving and how to give gifts that increase connection
in your
relationships.
When the two of us were first together, gift-giving was a
topic that we got straight between us right off the bat.
We decided that we would not buy each other
presents but would rather create "celebrations"
that were delicious for both of us.
Does this work for every couple?
Of course not--but the point is to be very clear about each
of your expectations and even fears that come up around the
gift-giving topic.
The other day we received a great question
from a woman who asked for some gift ideas
for her husband for their second wedding
anniversary. She told us that she's been
"racking" her brain for ideas and would like to
follow the "theme" of the traditional second wedding
anniversary gift which is cotton.
She also said that they have a baby and
she has limited time and not much money.
We're sure that others live with this type of
gift-giving question so here's what we
suggest...
1. Even though you may want to stay with
"tradition," focus on connecting with your
partner and your love as you think about your celebration.
We couldn't find where
or when this traditional anniversary list
originated but we're sure that a heartfelt
gift to show your love trumps what someone else might suggest
every time.
2. Sit down together and talk about how you both want your
gift-giving to each other to be. Years ago, a woman Otto worked
with was so disappointed that her husband sent flowers to
their home instead of to her office to celebrate their anniversary.
Don't assume that he or she "should" know what you
want or what your partner wants. Have an honest, loving, fun
conversation about how you want your celebrations to go.
3. If your wishes are vastly different, you may want to take
turns in planning events, with each of you being open to enjoying
what the other enjoys.
4. You can make it a special no-cost celebration if that's
what both of you agree to having. Even after many years of
marriage, the two of us still do not exchange gifts.
We would rather create private "love"
celebrations that we share together in our home, sometimes
with music, chocolate and the deliciousness of being together
in a beautiful setting.
However the two of you decide to celebrate together, let it
come from the essence of your love and your union.
Let love and connection lead the way to creating more happiness
in your life.
Ask yourself and your partner, "What is my intention
for giving this gift?"
When you do, more often than not, the gift you give will lead
to a heart opening experience for both of you instead of something
you feel you "should" do because it's expected.
****************
Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and
authors who help people create lives that are filled with
more passion, love and connection. For more tips on turning
up the heat in your love relationship, sign up for their free
mini-course at http://www.redhotloverelationships.com
********************
|
