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Romance Tips and
Romantic Ideas
"Romantic Tips
for Valentine's Day"
by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
If there is any romantic tip that we
would give you it would be to begin paying attention to what your beloved would
like as a gift.
Sound easy? Sometimes yes and sometimes no.
What most of us do--whether we realize it our not--is to give a
gift that we would like rather than what the person who is to receive our gift
would like.
A
man we know arranged an overnight getaway for he and his wife to a cabin in the
state forest not far away from where they life. It was their first overnight
alone without the kids for many years. He chose to schedule hiking both
days.
While all
of this might sound really nice to many people, his wife thought it was great
to get away for an overnight with her husband, she wasn't into hiking both
days. She would have liked to have had some time to just sit in front of a fire
and relax.
While we certainly think weekend retreats are wonderful, we also
recognize that when you are planning your special gift that you invoke the
Platinum Rule.
According to Dr. Tony Alessandra, the Platinum Rule says, "Treat
others the way they want to be treated."
Dr. Alessandra explains that
"the goal of The Platinum Rule is personal chemistry and productive
relationships. You do not have to change your personality. You do not have to
roll over and submit to others. You simply have to understand what drives
people and recognize your options for dealing with them."
In other words,
we are all different and honoring those differences creates great
relationships!
We've certainly learned this in our own lives together, as well
as watching this dynamic in the lives of our coaching clients.
Our romantic tip for you for
this Valentine's Day (or any day for that matter) is to be very conscious and
mindful about the gift that would please your beloved rather than please
yourself.
Otto
once worked with a woman who was so disappointed when she received flowers from
her husband at home and not at work. It might sound like this woman is
unappreciative of her husband's efforts and there of course, is probably some
degree of truth to that but there's also the idea that he didn't love and honor
her the way she wanted to be honored.
She wanted his flowers to be a
public display of their love. He wanted the flowers to be a private display of
their love. Neither are right or wrong. It's simply a difference in way a
person wants love.
So our romantic tip for you is to pay attention to what your
beloved would like and how they would like it.
You have a few days before
Valentine's Day so do some research. Here are some questions and advice to get
your research started...
1. Become the observer. Ask yourself--What can I learn about new
about my beloved? There's always something new to learn if we are open to
seeing it. We might think that we know everything about our mate but we suggest
that you look at him or her with new eyes.
2. Does your beloved like
surprises or hate them? Believe it our not, some people like surprises and
others don't like them because they don't like to be disappointed if they don't
get exactly what they want.
3. How would your beloved like to see your love in action?
Something tangible like flowers or chocolate or something like a romantic
evening alone together? Maybe a bubble bath together or creating a soft "nest"
for the two of you to snuggle into. Maybe an evening on the town, going out to
dinner and then to a play or movie. Resist the temptation to plan something
that would be the way you would like it.
4. Now obviously you both can't
plan a big outing for each other on the same day. If you are planning something
big and special, tell your beloved and if he/she doesn't like surprises, tell
them what you are thinking of planning. You might combine what you each would
like to do and your celebration of your love certainly doesn't have to be on
that one day--Valentine's Day.
In fact, we suggest that in order to keep your love alive,
vibrant and growing, you find ways to celebrate your love and each other often.
Take turns in pleasing each other and you'll find that your love grows deeper.
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Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors
of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More Jealousy" are experts at
helping people get more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a
closer, more loving relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
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