"5 Ways to Make This the Most Romantic Valentine's Day Ever"
By Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
Valentine's Day is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year--right?
How many times do your expectations fall short and you end up feeling worse after the holiday is over?
Here are 5 ideas to help you get past flowers and candy to create the relationship you've always wanted not only on Valentine's Day but every day throughout the year...
Idea #1 Acknowledge Your Commitment to Each Other
If there's one thing we've heard over and over from people whose relationships are ending is that they took each other for granted.
They did not re-affirm and re-commit their love to each other on a regular basis.
For a relationship to not only last but remain juicy over the long haul, you have to keep affirming your love in new ways to each other.
Today, try something new like leaving a love note in your partner's brief case or sock drawer.
Use the element of surprise to say how much you care and that you commit to this relationship today.
Idea #2 Spend Time Together
If there's one thing that can kill a relationship, it's not spending enough time together.
Many people tell us that they have lost their
relationship because they've put everything
else before their partner.
They simply stopped feeling important to each other and their relationship died.
Fights and disagreements come up over
other topics--but at the true heart of the
problem is often that lack of time and
attention to the relationship.
So spice up your romance by spending quality time and attention with each other--and do it this week.
Idea #3 Stop the Repeat Arguments
If you find that you're having the same or
similar argument over and over--stop and
take a look at what's going on.
Take a bird's eye view and look at the
dynamic between the two of you. Look at what needs to be healed.
In our "Stop Talking On Eggshells" program
http://www.stoptalkingoneggshells.com,
we help you identify communication patterns
that hold you back from saying what you
need to say or saying it in such a way that
your partner is angry with you.
Many times, repeat fights are created by
communication patterns that you each have
that can't help but trigger each other.
For example--one person gets sarcastic
and blaming when triggered or threatened
and the other person withdraws and clams
up.
Identifying what you do and then changing
that dynamic can stop the repeat fights.
Idea #4 Honor Your Partner, even when he or she isn't present
Be very careful how you talk about your partner when he or she isn't in the room (or even if he or she is).
If you have a tendency to complain about your partner to others, stop and consider what this does.
It keeps you focused on what irritates and
annoys you--not on what you want.
And believe it or not, it keep arguments going--the age-old "I'm right and you're wrong" argument.
We know that sometimes it's helpful to talk to a friend to get some clarity about a situation but be very careful how you do it.
Our policy is to talk to each other first before
we say anything about a situation to someone else.
This is honoring at its highest and builds trust--as well as provides the climate for more romance to happen.
Idea #5 Find Common Goals and Desires
When you have something greater that holds
you together, you can step back and look at
what separates you in a different way.
You can put it all in perspective.
You can recognize when you are just reacting
from what's happened in your past rather than what's actually happening right now.
When the distance between the two of you
seems big, go back to the common ground that you both stand for--and start there to rebuild your connection.
If you do nothing more this Valentine's day,
do something that will bring you closer rather
than push you further from each other.
Do something that will enhance your romance throughout the year.
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Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors
who are passionate about helping people create lives that
are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more
tips on rekindling passion in your love relationship, visit
http://www.RedHotLoveRelationships.com
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