|
|
Should You Stay or Go?
"5 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself if You
are Considering Whether to Stay in or Leave a Relationship"
By Susie and Otto
Collins
No matter how long you've been in your relationship, the
decision whether to stay in or leave your relationship can be one of the most
important decisions you'll ever make.
We’ve both also made this
decision ourselves in our previous relationships, so we know how difficult it
can be. In our relationship coaching practice and workshops, we’ve guided
hundreds of people through a conscious decision-making process of whether to
stay and work to make their relationship better or whether to leave their
relationship with grace.
In this article, we’re offering five powerful,
thought-provoking questions that you need to deeply consider if you are in this
situation. We invite you to take some time to reflect on these questions and
write out your responses without censoring or judging them.
If your partner is willing and
you feel like you can ask, invite him/her to answer these questions as well,
and then compare your answers.
If you are trying to make the decision of whether to stay in or
leave the relationship by yourself, your answers to these questions will give
you a lot of insight into what decision is best for you.
1) Why are you considering
leaving this relationship?
When things get tough, most everyone has had the thought roll
through their minds at some time or another that maybe they might be better off
without their partner. Although this question seems obvious, reflecting on it
will shed light on how deep your pain is in this relationship.
2) What is the real reason
you are considering leaving this relationship?
There’s always a reason
underneath what you say is the problem. This question is not to trivialize your
answers to the first question but rather to ask you to delve deeper. For
example, if Susie had been asked this question about her previous marriage, she
would have answered the first question with – “We no longer have the
same interests, the passion has gone out of the marriage and we seem to be
leading separate lives.” After going deeper, she would have said, “I
realize I will never get the love that I want in this relationship.”
3) What are
the most important things you need to consider in order to make this decision?
You might
want to consider housing for you and your children, financial concerns, health
concerns, or other life circumstances. An example of this may be: “If I
leave (or stay in) this relationship, I won’t be able to attend college
and that is an important goal of mine.”
4) How will the other people
in my life be affected if I stay or leave and can I deal with that?
We never know
how others will be affected when we make a decision of this magnitude. While we
need to consider how this decision will impact them, the ultimate, conscious
choice should be ours and ours alone.
5) Is there any chance the
two of you will be able to heal the issues surrounding this relationship?
Ask
yourself if both of you are willing to do what is necessary to break down the
walls and heal what is happening between the two of you. If you are considering
whether to stay in or leave a relationship, these 5 questions are a good way to
begin to focus your thoughts. If you are interested in delving deeper into this
question, you’ll find many more questions, insights and personal stories
in our course “Should you stay or Should you go?.” To find out more
about this course, visit our web site at http://www.stayorgo.com
*****************************
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors
of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More Jealousy" are experts at
helping people get more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a
closer, more loving relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
******************************
|
|
|
|
