"Relationship
Blocks, Barriers and Blunders..."
pt.1
Susie and Otto Collins
If there's
any part of you that wants more love or a better relationship
and are wondering what you might want to do to create it...
You'll
be excited to know that this is the first in a series of articles
we're going to write on the subject of "blocks, barriers
and blunders" that keep us from having all the love,
passion, connection and intimacy we want.
So, what
are these blocks, barriers and blunders that keep us from
having the love passion and connection we want that we're
talking about?
There's
certainly a whole lot more to it than
this but if theres a challenge in ANY area of
your life, you can know that it's something in
one of these areas...
~Your
Thoughts
~Your
Beliefs
~Your
Attitudes
~Your
Actions
or
~ Your
Strategies.
That's
it.
Everything
else is just the details.
You can
always trace any challenge back to
one of these areas and here's a practical
example to illustrate this...
Someone
wrote to us recently and asked us...
"How
can you stop thinking about the past and only think about
the good things you and your partner have now?"
This is
an excellent question and one we'll
answer in this way...
The person
who wrote to us didn't say whether it was 'their' past together
or the past before getting together that they couldn't stop
thinking negatively about so here are our thoughts...
In this situation, If you can't stop thinking about the past
(and it's causing challenges in the relationship) then one
of two things is going on...
Either you have quite a few thoughts that you continue to
think on an ongoing basis in which you aren't questioning
the validity of and these thoughts seem be a trigger for you
and are keeping you "stuck"...
or
...you
have unhealed issues from your past
or current relationship that need to be identified, looked
at squarely and healed before they destroy your relationship
or marriage.
If you think about it this person's situation is
no different than anything you might be going through now
or in the future. It goes back to one of those five issues
we described above that need to be solved.
To help
you with any relationship challenge,
question, issue or concern here are some
powerful questions to ask yourself to help you determine where
the problem is and how you can release it...
Are the
things I'm thinking about this situation actually true or
are they things I'm only worried or concerned about that aren't
actually true?
What are the beliefs I hold that could be
contributing negatively to this situation?
Are these
beliefs I hold moving me closer to or further from the love,
passion and connection I want?
What attitudes
do I have that are contributing to this situation? What beliefs
do I have that are contributing to this situation?
Are the
things I've done been helpful in this
situation or have they taken me further from what I want?
Is there a better or different strategy I could
try in this situation to help us work through
this situation?
As you
know from reading this newsletter,
we're huge fans of the power questions in
making big changes and shifts in your life.
The
questions above are just a few and you're certainly encouraged
to come up with
your own questions to help you make shifts in your relationships
and life.
So, what
do all these questions have to do with relationship blocks,
barriers and blunders?
Everything
actually.
Most people
tend to think (erroneously) that
the problems of life are 'out there" instead of "in
here" or inside you.
If you
are having challenges in your
relationships (or any aspect of your life for
that matter), asking yourself the right questions and being
open to new answers is a powerful strategy to use for making
shifts for the better.
Asking
yourself the right questions and being open to the answer
also requires you take personal responsibility for what you
are creating in your relationships and life.
This "taking
personal responsibility" is, in our opinion, something
that we need much more of in a world where nearly everyone
wants to point the finger outward and place blame elsewhere.
We believe
that we are ALL the creators in our lives.
Not someone
else. It's us.
Please
understand that we're NOT saying that there isn't a god, creator
or higher power that created all of us and our world. That's
not what we're saying at all.
What we
are saying is this-- not taking
responsibility for what happens in our lives is definitely
a barrier to connection with the
people in our lives.
What we
have discovered is this: When we take responsibility for our
lives and everything in them-- the problems, issues and challenges
we have seem to start working themselves out.
For more
info on how to create better relationship, visit http://www.StopTalkingonEggshells.com
*****************************
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins,
authors of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and "No More
Jealousy" are experts at helping people get more of the love
they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more loving
relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.Relationshipgold.com
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