"Relationship
Advice for Getting What You Want"
by Susie and Otto Collins
There
is a simple, yet often overlooked idea that creates major
problems and challenges in the relationships and lives of
millions and millions of people and maybe even your life as
well.
If you
don't solve this challenge, you can have all the hopes, dreams,
and intentions that you want and take more action than a lumberjack
in a log splitting contest and it still won't matter.
Nothing
will change.
Your relationships
and everything else you want to improve in your life will
continue to be basically more of what you've got now unless
you do this one thing.
This one
thing is to raise your "level of
deservingness."
We have
always known about this idea and have worked with it, both
in our own lives and with our Breakthrough Coaching clients
to raise their level of deservingness.
Recently,
we've been going even deeper in our understanding of just
how important it is to raise our level of deservingness as
we've been listening to Joe Vitale's new "Awakening Course"
that is available at http://www.PassionateHeart.com/Awakening
And believe
it or not...
Your level
of deservingness has a lot to do with how much spark, passion,
zest and vibrancy you have and allow in your relationships
and life.
Now we
know that when you think about the idea of how to have more
spark in your life, it's pretty easy to dismiss it or put
the idea on the back burner.
You might
be telling yourself something like this...
"That's
nice but I have more important problems to deal with right
now."
Maybe
you lost your job, your finances are not what you want them
to be or maybe your relationship is really rocky and re-igniting
spark might be pretty far-fetched--or maybe you're just too
busy to even think about what it would take to do it.
Whatever
your situation, we invite you to look at just one thing right
now--your level of
deservingness in whatever area of your life that seems to
not be what you'd like it to be.
When we
talk about deservingness, we're talking about how much of
the "good stuff" that you feel you deserve to have--and
we're not just talking about physical "stuff."
Yes, your
level of "deservingness" is a major
factor in the level of financial abundance that you enjoy
but there's so much more to consider.
This "good
stuff" can be love, relationships
self-esteem, meaningful work, education or
whatever else you desire.
We've
found that you can be conscious and
self-confident about what you think you deserve in a certain
area of your life but unconsciously not feel you deserve the
good things life has offer in another part of your life.
This plays
out differently with everyone but more than likely when you
feel stuck, it's an unconscious process that is at work here.
Why are
we talking about level of deservingness and creating more
passion and zest in your life?
In our
own lives and in the lives of those we
come in contact with, we've seen how passion
and excitement--and the ability to create what's desired--comes
to a screeching halt when there's a feeling of not really
deserving to have it.
You might
say that this isn't your problem but if you are feeling stuck
in any area of your life, we suggest that you look a little
deeper than what seems to be on the surface.
Here's
Sam's story to help us explain what we
mean...
Sam couldn't
find a job, was living with friends and although he was interested
in attending massage school, he had no money to pay for it.
Sam was
stuck and couldn't seem to take action except to investigate
truck driving school--which he had no interest in attending.
Although
his problems seemed pretty obvious, it wasn't until he allowed
himself to start believing that he deserved more in life and
to have what he wanted--to go to massage school--that things
began to change for him.
His unconscious
beliefs about himself and what he deserved held him back until
he could see something new.
We're
happy to say that Sam got a scholarship to a massage school
and left last weekend to start his education.
Can it
happen that way to you?
Sure it
can.
Here are
some ways to look at your situation
that might help if you have a "log jam" in your
life...
1. Examine
where you are and what you are
telling yourself about this situation. Look at
your unconscious and conscious beliefs.
Sam realized
that he was in the shape he was
in partly because of past programming that said he was a failure
at everything he tried. And he kept reinforcing this belief
by telling himself over and over that it was not possible
to have what he wanted.
2. Question
your negative thoughts and beliefs.
When
you find yourself thinking thoughts like
these...
"It
will never happen." "Others can have this but not
me." "What if I went for it and it didn't happen?"
...take
a moment and ask yourself if you want to continue to believe
this thought or belief--or not.
At that
moment of decision, when you decide to make another choice,
you open the door to
possibility just a crack so that you can begin to look inside
at another future for yourself.
3. Take
action from possibility.
Nothing
would have changed for Sam if he hadn't acted by calling the
massage school and asking about financing and scholarships.
He took action.
You can
take action too from a place of deserving what you want and
gratitude for yourself and your life.
You can
ignite the spark in your life and in your relationship by
beginning to see the possibility of it and that you deserve
this or something greater.
*****************************
Relationship coaches Susie
and Otto Collins, authors of "Should You Stay or Should You
Go?" and "No More Jealousy" are experts at helping people
get more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys to
a closer, more loving relationship, click below for your free
5-part mini-course: http://www.Relationshipgold.com
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