Improve Communication “What are You Resisting?”

We’d like you to imagine for just a moment that there is an unlimited amount of love, passion, connection, abundance (and anything else that you want) available to you in your relationships and life.If this is true (and we believe that it is), then we’d like to ask you this question…

What resistance to experiencing more of what you want are you feeling in your relationships and life right now?

Resistance might be coming in a variety of ways–but the truth is that if there is an unlimited supply of love and abundance, then at some level you are undoubtedly blocking or resisting what you want from being a part of your life experience.

Susie’s feeling a lot of resistance right now toward moving on to a larger city and leaving her house of over 30 years and the small town where she’s lived since 1969. She “knows” deep inside herself that this is a good move for her and for us, but within that “knowing” is a resistance to change.

Like Susie, you may be challenging something in your life or relationships that you have a deep “knowing” about. You might be saying to yourself “Yes, but…” and “That won’t work for me.” If this is the case, then these are small examples of resistance.

There may also be other forms of resistance that are present for you, such as resistance to “what is,” resistance to opening wider to your partner, resistance to claiming something positive for your life, resistance to letting go of limiting beliefs, resistance to allowing the time, energy and focus that this path might take.

To go back to our example of Susie’s resistance…

She has the most difficult time when she slips into believing his negative, limiting thoughts that in the new city, she’ll never have what she has in this house and beautiful natural setting.

The reality of the situation is that even though this house is located in a private, wooded setting, both the130 year old house and its surroundings are more than we want to take care of right now.

There are also things like a garage and a bathroom off the master bedroom that appeal to Susie in a newer house. To top it off–her grandsons live in the city where they are moving so she will get to be with them more often.

So the truth of it is–although Susie is resisting this move in some ways, there are some wonderful, positive¬† advantages for letting go of the past.

In relationships, people hold onto old, limiting beliefs that create resistance without taking a good look at what is currently happening in the present moment and the outcome that they want.

They hold on to grudges and things that have been done to them in the past without looking at what’s going on right here and right now.

We’ve discovered that holding onto resistance is hard work–like hauling a ball and chain around with you all of the time.

While it may not be “easy” to let go of whatever you are resisting, we’ve discovered that when we do, we feel lighter and more love comes into our lives.

The trick is to spend as much of your time, effort and energy as possible focusing on the positive outcome that you want to happen instead of focusing on any short-term pain that you may feel as you work through any personal or relationship challenges that seem to keep you stuck in a place you don’t want.

Pay attention to any negative emotion that arises. Ask if what you are telling yourself about what you are resisting is true. Often, there’s no truth to your fears and even if there is some validity to your resistance, make a choice to focus on where you want to go.

In life and relationships, it’s up to each person to decide what he/she wants and not let something we perceive as difficult get in the way of having something amazing in any area of our lives.

We suggest that you begin creating your life on purpose, whatever that means to you, especially when it comes to your relationships. Look resistance right in the eye. Then, make the decision that you are not willing to allow your resistance to keep you from having what you want.

Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors of “Should You Stay or Should You Go?” and “No More Jealousy” are experts at helping people get more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more loving relationship, click below for your free 5-part mini-course:

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