Relationship Advice for Getting What You Want

There is a simple, yet often overlooked idea that creates major problems and challenges in the relationships and lives of millions and millions of people and maybe even your life as well.

If you don’t solve this challenge, you can have all the hopes, dreams, and intentions that you want and take more action than a lumberjack in a log splitting contest and it still won’t matter.

Nothing will change.

Your relationships and everything else you want to improve in your life will continue to be basically more of what you’ve got now unless you do this one thing.

This one thing is to raise your “level of  deservingness.”

We have always known about this idea and have worked with it, both in our own lives and with our Breakthrough Coaching clients to raise their level of deservingness.

Recently, we’ve been going even deeper in our understanding of just how important it is to raise our level of deservingness as we’ve been listening to Joe Vitale’s new “Awakening Course” that is available at

And believe it or not…

Your level of deservingness has a lot to do with how much spark, passion, zest and vibrancy you have and allow in your relationships and life.

Now we know that when you think about the idea of how to have more spark in your life, it’s pretty easy to dismiss it or put the idea on the back burner.

You might be telling yourself something like this…

“That’s nice but I have more important problems to deal with right now.”

Maybe you lost your job, your finances are not what you want them to be or maybe your relationship is really rocky and re-igniting spark might be pretty far-fetched–or maybe you’re just too busy to even think about what it would take to do it.

Whatever your situation, we invite you to look at just one thing right now–your level of deservingness in whatever area of your life that seems to not be what you’d like it to be.

When we talk about deservingness, we’re talking about how much of the “good stuff” that you feel you deserve to have– and we’re not just talking about physical “stuff.”

Yes, your level of “deservingness” is a major factor in the level of financial abundance that you enjoy but there’s so much more to consider.

This “good stuff” can be love, relationships  self-esteem, meaningful work, education or  whatever else you desire.

We’ve found that you can be conscious and  self-confident about what you think you deserve in a certain area of your life but unconsciously not feel you deserve the good things life has offer in another part of your life.

This plays out differently with everyone but more than likely when you feel stuck, it’s an unconscious process that is at work here.

Why are we talking about level of deservingness and creating more passion and zest in your life?

In our own lives and in the lives of those we come in contact with, we’ve seen how passion and excitement–and the ability to create what’s desired–comes to a screeching halt when there’s a feeling of not really deserving to have it.

You might say that this isn’t your problem but if you are feeling stuck in any area of your life, we suggest that you look a little deeper than what seems to be on the surface.

Here’s Sam’s story to help us explain what we mean…

Sam couldn’t find a job, was living with friends and although he was interested in attending massage school, he had no money to pay for it.

Sam was stuck and couldn’t seem to take action except to investigate truck driving school–which he had no interest in attending.

Although his problems seemed pretty obvious, it wasn’t until he allowed himself to start believing that he deserved more in life and to have what he wanted–to go to massage school–that things began to change for him.

His unconscious beliefs about himself and what he deserved held him back until he could see something new.

We’re happy to say that Sam got a scholarship to a massage school and left last weekend to start his education.

Can it happen that way to you?

Sure it can.

Here are some ways to look at your situation that might help if you have a “log jam” in your life…

1. Examine where you are and what you are telling yourself about this situation.

Look at your unconscious and conscious beliefs.

Sam realized that he was in the shape he was  in partly because of past programming that said he was a failure at everything he tried. And he kept reinforcing this belief by telling himself over and over that it was not possible to have what he wanted.

2. Question your negative thoughts and beliefs.

When you find yourself thinking thoughts like these…

“It will never happen.” “Others can have this but not me.” “What if I went for it and it didn’t happen?”

…take a moment and ask yourself if you want to continue to believe this thought or belief–or not.

At that moment of decision, when you decide to make another choice, you open the door to possibility just a crack so that you can begin to look inside at another future for yourself.

3. Take action from possibility.

Nothing would have changed for Sam if he hadn’t acted by calling the massage school and asking about financing and scholarships.

He took action.

You can take action too from a place of deserving what you want and gratitude for yourself and your life.

You can ignite the spark in your life and in your relationship by beginning to see the possibility of it and that you deserve this or something greater.

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