According to marriage and family counsellor Dr. Frank Gunzburg, when you first learn that your spouse has had an affair, it’s not only devastating but it’s a crazy cocktail of anger, denial, grief and a complete loss of self-esteem.
If you have been injured by a cheating husband or cheating wife, especially if the news has hit you within the last few months, the pain you are feeling right now is probably unbearable.
But the truth is that you are not alone and there is hope for your relationship. The pain you feel right now, as immediate as it is, will not go on forever.
But you can’t wait too long to start your healing process. Why you ask? Because even though time can be a healer, time can also be a breeding ground for hurtful words and actions. Time may build walls that become too thick to tear down.
So you should start the healing process now. The problem is how.
Starting the healing process always starts with you and helping you begin to sort out the full range of emotions that are tearing your world apart.
There is no excuse for infidelity. And if your relationship is going to heal, the first thing you need to realize is that the affair is not your fault. You did not force your partner to go outside your relationship. They did it themself. Even if there are things you could have done better in your relationship (and there almost certainly are), this is not an excuse or a legitimate justification for your spouse to do what he or she has done.
To start healing from an affair, you must realize this critical truth. In addition, the cheater has to own what he or she has done starting today and realize that the affair is completely his or her fault.
Dr. Frank Gunzburg is a licensed counselor in Maryland and has been specializing is helping couples restore their marriage for over 30 years. He is also the author of How to Survive an Affair, a step-by-step healing system that can help a couple repair their relationship after it has been shattered from an affair.
If your relationship has been damaged by an affair and you would like a step-by-step system for repairing your relationship, then please visit Dr. Gunzburg’s site for more information: http://www.surviveanaffair.com
This article was used by permission from How to Survive An Affair
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