Did you know that soulmate relationships can be hazardous?
It happens this way for so many couples in love…
Two people meet. Strong chemistry is there. A depth of feeling and a sense of “coming home” is felt by both. They realize that they are soulmates. A love relationship (and, later, maybe marriage) is started. Imperfections and annoyances are soon discovered. Disillusionment, tension and conflict develop. The relationship ends in heartbreak.
The trajectory of a soulmate relationship doesn’t always look like the above scenario. But, what does eventually tend to happen– especially in soulmate relationships– is big-time frustration and disappointment.
There comes a time when the two start to ask themselves questions like…
- “Isn’t a soulmate relationship supposed to be easier than this?”
- “Wasn’t finding my soulmate supposed to be my joyful, peak moment?’
- “If this person is my soulmate, why I do feel so angry and annoyed all of the time?”
- “Is THIS relationship my one chance at true love?”
These questions show the very real hazards of being in a soulmate relationship.
To be clear…
The hazards of a soulmate relationship aren’t so much the relationship itself, but the effects on the relationship from each person’s beliefs and expectations about soulmates.
Here are a few of the common beliefs about soulmate relationships that lead many people to upset and heartbreak:
- Once you find your soulmate, you’ll never be unhappy or lonely again.
- Soulmates never argue, fight or disagree.
- A soulmate relationship takes care of itself– no hard work is required.
- There is only one soulmate for each person in a lifetime.
While there can be truth to these common beliefs, most of the time they are totally inaccurate. The reality for the majority of soulmates in love relationships together is vastly different.
Unfortunately, if soulmates get together and bring expectations like these to the relationship, they become disenchanted and bitter and may end the relationship.
The really great news is that your soulmate relationship does NOT have to decline or end because of these hazardous beliefs.
Here are 4 ways to create a happy, long-lasting love relationship with your soulmate…
#1: Be present.
If you believe that you and your soulmate have been together in past lives before, this can have both positive and negative effects on your relationship now.
You might be tempted to try to more fully remember and re-create the kind of relationship you shared with this soul in the past. As lovely as this sounds, it can bring a lot of confusion and frustration.
Honor the past that you believe you two shared AND come back to the here and now. Be enriched by the understanding that you’ve been together before and build on your history of love, but don’t let the past obscure the unique present.
Focus most of all on what’s happening now and on creating the kind of relationship you want right now.
#2: Ask tough questions.
In order to create a close and connected love relationship with your soulmate, be very honest with yourself.
Admit it if you are operating from expectations about soulmate relationships that set you up for disappointment. Acknowledge what you believe a soulmate relationship “has” to be like and then look at the ways that this might be causing distance between you and your partner.
Ask yourself what your top priorities are for this (or any) relationship. Next, ask yourself if you are currently living from those priorities or not.
Another tough question to ask yourself is if your soulmate is a match for you and your priorities .
Your answers to these questions may be surprising.
Sometimes, soulmates find one another and feel a deep connection, but they aren’t necessarily a good match for what each one wants at this time.
Sometimes, soulmates are only together for a short period of time in a lifetime. After that, there may be other soulmates that come into a person’s experience.
#3: Keep learning and growing.
Perhaps the biggest hazardous belief that people have about soulmate relationships is that no work is required. The assumption is that once soulmates find one another, the power of their past history together will take over.
There is a belief that they will “magically” or “automatically” stay as passionate and close as they’d like.
We’re here to remind you that soulmate relationships are like any other love relationship or marriage. You’ve got to keep learning and growing in order to keep your connection.
Don’t let your relationship get stale and stagnant.
Instead, continue to look at your soulmate with appreciation and curiosity. See him or her as someone who is always changing. Keep discovering new things about yourself too.
#4: Lighten up.
Remember to have fun!
This soulmate stuff can become heavy and serious if you let it. Keep in mind that love and being with this very special person are supposed to be enjoyable and you can help make it so.
Yes, be sure to work on the habits you both have that may put strain on your relationship. But, also set aside regular time to do whatever you and your partner really like to do together.
Talk about books or movies that interest you. Hike, bike, work out and move your bodies together. Hold hands and watch the sunset.
Find something that peaks your interest, invite your soulmate to join you and really be present in that precious moment.