What if you’re in a committed relationship or marriage and your “soul mate” shows up?
Talk about an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation!
You either go crazy trying to deny to everyone that the attraction is happening or you dip your toe (or whole body) into cheating and infidelity.
Here’s what one person asked and our answer…
“I’m in a committed relationship and I’ve have just found my soulmate. The only trouble is it’s not the person I’m in the committed relationship with. How could this happen and what can I do now?”
We believe that if you are truly in a committed relationship and your soulmate has just appeared from out of no where, the real problem isn’t that you’ve just found your soulmate.
It’s that there are problems and challenges in your committed relationship that you haven’t begun to address yet.
Our research into soulmates and twin souls and also our own experience have shown us that if you are in a committed relationship, your soulmate will not be able to come into your life in the way you might think a soulmate would.
If this has happened to you or you suspect a mid-life crisis is on its way in the form of being attracted to someone else, we know that you’re pulled in all kinds of different directions and have conflicting emotions.
We don’t have to tell you the hurt and damage you can inflict on everyone if you start acting on your attraction. But if you attempt to squash down your attraction, you can just make it bigger.
So what do you do?
We suggest that turning your attention inward to find out what’s going on inside you is where you begin.
Back up and take some time to consider what you are truly feeling. There may be things about your current relationship that are not meeting your wants or your needs.
Considering leaving your relationship? Go here for a practical way to help you make that decision
It may not have anything to do with this person who has just entered your life but their appearance in your life is a signal that there’s an issue that you need to deal with. This does not necessarily mean that leaving your partner you are already committed to will solve your problem.
If you do leave your partner for your soulmate, you may just be carrying your upsets and issues into your new relationship without even realizing it. Take the time first–before you take another step toward your new “soul mate”– to consider your situation from inside you.
One of our teachers, Gay Hendricks in his book Conscious Living, talks about a time he was attracted to a woman other than his wife.
Once he realized what was going on, he did something surprising.
He asked the woman and his wife to discuss the situation with him. He realized that this attraction was based on his reaching for his lost youth and his creativity and had nothing to do with this young woman he found himself attracted to.
The two of us made a promise to each other when we married that if an attraction for another person ever came up for either of us, we would talk to the other first before acting on it.
This is what we suggest you do, but first look inside you for where the attraction is coming from. Is it truly that you are attracted to the new person or to what your partner used to be or look?
We’re saying that if you are in a committed relationship and find yourself attracted to someone else, take a look at what’s going on within you and within your relationship and try to heal those parts of you that are crying out for help before you get involved with someone else—even someone you believe to be a soulmate.
Finding a soul mate when you’re in a relationship with someone else may not be what it appears to be.
Do everyone involved a favor…
Be honest with yourself about your attraction and find out what it’s really about then be honest before you ruin your relationships.