In this article, we’re offering five powerful, thought-provoking questions that you need to deeply consider if you are in this situation. We invite you to take some time to reflect on these questions and write out your responses without censoring or judging them.
If your partner is willing and you feel like you can ask, invite him/her to answer these questions as well, and then compare your answers.
If you are trying to make the decision of whether to stay in or leave the relationship by yourself, your answers to these questions will give you a lot of insight into what decision is best for you.
1) Why are you considering leaving this relationship?
When things get tough, most everyone has had the thought roll through their minds at some time or another that maybe they might be better off without their partner. Although this question seems obvious, reflecting on it will shed light on how deep your pain is in this relationship.
2) What is the real reason you are considering leaving this relationship?
There’s always a reason underneath what you say is the problem. This question is not to trivialize your answers to the first question but rather to ask you to delve deeper. For example, if Susie had been asked this question about her previous marriage, she would have answered the first question with “We no longer have the same interests, the passion has gone out of the marriage and we seem to be leading separate lives. After going deeper, she would have said, I realize I will never get the love that I want in this relationship.
3) What are the most important things you need to consider in order to make this decision?
You might want to consider housing for you and your children, financial concerns, health concerns, or other life circumstances. An example of this may be: If I leave (or stay in) this relationship, I won’t be able to attend college and that is an important goal of mine.
4) How will the other people in my life be affected if I stay or leave and can I deal with that?
We never know how others will be affected when we make a decision of this magnitude. While we need to consider how this decision will impact them, the ultimate, conscious choice should be ours and ours alone.
5) Is there any chance the two of you will be able to heal the issues surrounding this relationship?
Ask yourself if both of you are willing to do what is necessary to break down the walls and heal what is happening between the two of you. If you are considering whether to stay in or leave a relationship, these 5 questions are a good way to begin to focus your thoughts. If you are interested in delving deeper into this question, you’ll find many more questions, insights and personal stories in our course Should You Stay or Should You Go?.
To find out more about this course, visit our web site at http://www.relationshipgold.com/stay-or-go