Turn from the Past and Look Toward the Future …YOUR Future

Sometimes after a separation or divorce, we find ourselves dwelling in the past, our thoughts consumed with that other person.You will begin to heal when you start thinking and writing about what you want for your life.After Susie’s husband of 30 years left their marriage, she found herself thinking about him, wondering how he was doing and if he was happy. It wasn’t until she decided to stop focusing on the past and her ex-husband’s life and start focusing on what she wanted, that her life began to move forward in a powerful way.It was almost a physical sensation of turning her body forward toward her future. She began to create new goals for her life and pushed past the fear of being alone.

Setting goals is very important in this process of turning to your new life. The famous motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar said that he had never met a truly depressed person who had goals for his/her life and we know that this is true.

Take some time right now to create some new goals for your new life. What have you always wanted to do? What activities have you always wanted to try but something kept you from trying them? Are there any groups that you have wanted to join?

We’ve found the key to moving forward in your new life is to figure out what you want your new life to look like and you can start small–but start.

Here are some things that can help you move forward:

–If you or your partner left your relationship, remove photos of your past partner that are prominently positioned in your house (You don’t have to destroy them. Just put them away.)

–If you’re staying in the same house that you and your partner shared, move the furniture and put some different things on the walls. Different inexpensive items that are “you” can really help you to move from your past into your present and future.

–Sign up for a class that will get you physically active–yoga, Tai Chi, martial arts, aerobics, swimming, tennis. Get your body moving! When you get your body moving, endorphins are released into your bloodstream that help you to feel more positive and uplifted.

–If you are on your own, find a support group, people who will not support you in being a victim or rehash why you left, but groups who will stimulate you into new thought and new ideas. Take at your local university, church or community center that can help steer you in new directions together.

–When you’re ready (and only when you’re ready), start thinking about dating again.  Decide what you really want in a relationship and then begin taking steps to meet people and enjoy spending time with them. A new relationship will develop when the time is right.

–Set and implement new goals for yourself and watch your life change for the better!
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