But it doesn’t have to be that way…
You can do something to change your life and one of best ways to help yourself is to start learning new skills. If you’re ready, check out our “No More Jealousy” course at
***QUESTION FROM A READER:
“Can I have some reassurance that it [jealousy] will go away from my life? I guess it’s all about learning to love yourself and building your self esteem, isn’t it? Will that help eliminate the problem?”
The first thing we’ll say about jealousy is that NO ONE is born jealous.
This is good news because what this means is…
While we can’t say with certainty that jealousy will stop in your particular situation, we can say that the odds are in your favor if you are willing to make your healing your focus and your practice.
You’re exactly right that it start with learning to love yourself and building self-esteem.
Because here’s the thing…
When you’re jealous, you see someone or something else getting what you want–or you fear that it will happen sometime in the future.
Even when there’s no truth to your suspicions–and you know it–somewhere inside you, you are fearful that you won’t get your needs met.
What does this have to do with self-esteem and not loving yourself?
Let’s get this straight…
We all–whether we have jealousy issues or not– experience times in our lives when we don’t love and don’t feel very good about ourselves.
So self-esteem issues and not loving yourself are really part of being human–and some of us are better at loving ourselves than others.
Some of us have had better life experiences than others.
Some of us have had partners (and others) lie to us, cheat on us and have affairs and these kinds of things can certainly make trusting difficult.
Some of us have been exposed to beliefs that foster and strengthen self-esteem as opposed to those beliefs that tear it down.
And all of this can change in the present moment.
It’s an absolute fact that no matter how hard you try– your past will never change.
Your past is just as over as the revolutionary war and…
Maybe, your past experiences won’t change but what can change are your beliefs–your beliefs about yourself and what’s possible.
Let’s get practical now…
If you are afraid of being jealous forever, here are some ways to begin changing your beliefs so that you can see a glimmer of truth that you can stop being jealous.
1. First of all, take “forever” out of the equation because anything can change at any time.
Nothing lasts forever–the “good” in our lives as well as the “bad.”
Stopping jealousy may not happen over night, but it can and does happen.
So we invite you to challenge that thought–that your jealousy will last forever–whenever it comes up.
Yes, people can hold onto jealousy for a lifetime but deciding not to can be a conscious choice that you can make.
Whenever the thought of “forever jealous” comes up, shift your focus to what you want instead.
Find at least two examples of what you want in your life and focus on them.
It might be a smile from the clerk at the drug store or a hug from someone you love.
Replace your jealous thoughts with images that support you rather than tear you down.
2. Somewhere along the way, you “learned” to be jealous.
Whether it was what you witnessed by watching a family member, you had experiences in your own life that caused you to come to the conclusion that you weren’t going to get your needs met.or your jealousy could still be alive in you because a negative or unwanted relationship experience that you continue to relive over and over–
The fact is jealousy hasn’t gone away just yet.
To be really simplistic about this…
You can “learn” another way.
You can learn to care about yourself in a different way.
Does that mean that a blatantly flirting or cheating
partner will magically stop doing those things so you can stop being jealous?
No–it just means that when those jealous thoughts come up, you can treat them differently.
Instead of allowing them to rule you, you can learn to allow them to be there while getting to the truth of the matter and having the courage to choose what your next action will be.
3. The big secret about building self-esteem and self-love is that you do it in every moment, inside you.
And there are many ways to go about it.
It might be straightening your slumping posture when you notice yourself in a mirror.
It might be giving someone a smile or a “thank you” and a kind word instead of shrinking and ignoring other people because you feel bad.
It might be challenging the truth of those thoughts that come up in your mind that you really don’t think are true but you hang onto them anyway–because it’s what you’ve thought for a long time.
If you’ve been jealous and secretly have feared that you’ll never get rid of those feelings, take heart and get into action.
Start doing something today to feel better in your life.
For our free 7 Jealousy-Stopping Secrets, go to: http://www.NoMoreJealousy.com