We recently saw a list of the 5 top topics that people create goals around for the new year, with weight loss leading the list.
What struck us as odd was that creating better relationships wasn’t on that list!
In our opinion, there is NOTHING more important than your relationships AND…
The reason we hold this opinion isn’t because we’re relationship coaches who write about, speak about, coach and teach people like you about creating closer and more connected relationships.
You see, everything we do or try to do in life is either about, includes or requires the help of a relationship of some kind.
If you are a parent (or have parents) that’s a relationship.
If you work anywhere, you must develop relationships to be successful in your job.
Governments must form relationships with other government organizations in order to be effective and even to be in harmony with one another.
Even something like an engine in a car must have a “relationship” with the other parts of the car in order to work effectively and efficiently to provide transportation for the owner and passengers of the car.
In our way of looking at things, if you’re going to have something, why not go for the best?
When it comes to your relationships, if you want them to be better than what you have right now, one of the best ways is to continually find some ways of improving them–and that starts with intentions and then setting and achieving some goals.
In case you’re like us and haven’t written your goals or resolutions for the new year (or even if you never do it), we want to offer you a few ideas about how you can create growing, more loving, more deeply connected relationships in the new year.
Here are a few ways that have worked for us to keep our relationship close, connected and growing–and we offer them to you…
1. Forget about it. Forget about what happened last year. It’s done. It’s over. If you feel like you need resolution about something that was said or that happened, talk to the other person. If you don’t get the resolution that you want, don’t carry it into the new year. Forgive yourself or the other person.
Does that mean you allow yourself to be used or abused in any way. Of course not!
All we are saying is that unresolved grievances may hurt you more than the other person–or more than you realize.
2. Set some relationship goals. Think about what you’d like more of in 2008 in your relationship. We suggest that you take some time together and talk about what you want and some ways that you could practice that would bring you closer to having it–if the relationship is important to you.
For instance, one of our relationship goals for 2008 might be “having more fun together.” One of the ways we could “practice” is to keep a list of what “having fun” means to each of us and then doing one or more of those things every week.
3. Increase the amount of time you spend in bed–both sleeping and making love. Statistics show that most of us don’t get enough sleep–and relationships can certainly suffer if you don’t. If you aren’t sleeping, begin some type of meditation or relaxation program. There are plenty of resources out there that can help.
If you are with an intimate partner, we suggest that you spend more time making love–from a connected space. If you don’t feel connected, make it a practice to feel close and connected before love making. Talk about how the two of you can increase intimate feelings in your relationship.
4. Make your relationships a bigger priority. Most of us lead very busy lives and we tend to put most everything ahead of maintaining and growing our relationships, especially the intimate one.
We’ve said this many, many times but the idea bears repeating. People can very easily get “lost” from one another if they don’t keep coming back to revitalizing their relationship.
Committing to doing one simple thing like having a meal together once a day–or even one day a week–and talking together can make a big difference in a relationship.
5. Do something different. Doing something different and varying from your routine helps you to expand and grow. Doing something different–something that excites both of you-can help your relationship to come alive.
Some friends of ours went salsa dancing on New Year’s Eve. This is the first time in a long while that they had celebrated this holiday away from home–so it was very different for them. They told us that although they were terrible at salsa dancing, they laughed and had a lot of fun.
We suggest that you try something different that would be nourishing for your relationship.