In our most recent survey about relationships, someone asked us the question (and we thought it was a good one):
“How do you create a great relationship that really lasts in today’s world of throwaway’ relationships and $99 divorces?”
We wanted to say to this person…
Hold on a minute. Yes there are many more break ups than there used to be many years ago but in our opinion, there’s also more joy, possibilities and connection.
As always, we want to do our part in giving you the relationship help and ideas you need to create a great relationship filled with lots of love, passion and connection.
In this series of articles, we’re giving you some ideas and an invitation to create some relationship goals for the coming year that will bring you closer to what you want for your life.
We know that writing relationship goals may not be at the top of your list of things to do right now, but whether you’re single or with a partner, we urge you to spend just a few minutes thinking about what you would like more of in your relationships.
Then consider our “17 ways” that you could put into action in your life.
This can be your best year yet and we’re offering some ways to help you manifest that for yourself.
Here are a few more ways that have worked for us to keep our relationship close, connected and growing–and we offer them to you…
1. Decide to heal your past–or the parts that are constantly in your face.
If you’re like most people, you carry your past around with you everywhere. Now the past doesn’t always get in the way of what we want but sometimes it does.
Take Sam…He just couldn’t let go of his first marriage and first wife. He wanted her understanding and forgiveness because he left their marriage. He wanted her to tell him that she knew why he left and that she played a part in his leaving.
But she never did…And he could never let go so every new relationship he tried failed.
Healing for Sam would be to begin to let go of his desire that his ex act in a certain way and his need to keep living in the past.
He needs to quit judging her as he perceives she’s judging him. He can begin by staying in his present and looking toward his future.
What is it in your past that you could begin to look at and heal that you’ve been carrying around with you that no longer serves you?
2. Recommit to your relationship.
Recommitting to a relationship–whether it’s a relationship with your significant other, your child, or yourself–means looking at that relationship with fresh eyes and making the decision that this relationship is important to you.
It might mean spending more time together. It might mean focusing more attention on that relationship, making it a higher priority in your life.
If you are recommitting to yourself, you can spend more time pampering yourself in whatever way that feels good to you.
If you are recommitting to a partner, you can find time each day to focus on and love each other.
How can you either recommit to yourself or to your partner and what might that look like?
3. Learn some new relationship skills.
The two of us are constantly learning about how to have great relationships and if you’re reading this right now, you know that we share these ideas with you in this newsletter. Many people tell us that they use our newsletters as a jumping off point for discussions with their partners or friends.
We invite you to do the same.
In whatever area that you would like to improve–whether it’s to put more spark back in your relationship, communicate better, or find a partner who you truly want to be with–choose to learn some new things that will help move you closer to what you want.
What new relationship skills will help bring you closer to having what you want?
4. Meditate, pray, connect deeper to your spiritual center and Source, God, Creator–whatever name feels right to you.
Why would connecting deeper to your spiritual center and with God help you create great relationships?
We can speak from our experience. When we take time each day to pray and meditate, that is a time of relaxation and self-reflection. We can just feel what we’ve been holding on to all day just melt away. Sometimes we even get a big “ah ha” about how an interaction could have gone better or how our reaction could have closed the other person to us–how we could have loved more.
Now this meditation or pray time doesn’t mean you have to sit still for a certain amount of time. Susie “sits” for meditation every day but Otto chooses to meditate during what he calls his “quiet, alone time” and that usually involves taking a walk by himself.
Whatever way fits you, we invite you to begin a meditation/pray/quiet time practice every day. Start with 10 minutes and you’ll see the big changes that are in store for you and your relationships.