Focusing on the nostalgic parts of your relationship that were about connection-not disconnection-is like engaging in selective memory which strengthens your current connection.
To take a trip down memory lane, you might go to a restaurant or park that you used to go to or do some activity together that used to make your hearts sing. Make it fun and a mini-celebration of the two of you. If you have kids, find a babysitter and just play together.
We love to visit the place where we had our first official “date” and also where we were married. It’s a beautiful, natural setting in Hocking Hills, not too far from our home in Ohio, called Ash Cave.
In recreating our first date, we sit on the log that we sat so many years ago and passionately kiss each other as we did then. We stand where we stood to say our wedding vows and we repeat our vows.
These trips always bring us closer and help keep the feelings that we felt for each other so many years ago alive and growing.
You may not have a special place that you once liked to visit that is readily available to you but there might be other things that you can surprise your partner with or plan together that would rekindle your passion.
It doesn’t even have to mean “doing” something. It could mean recapturing a feeling in a moment. Here’s what one man said about using his trip down memory lane to keep their love exciting…
“Notice the small things that attracted the two of you in the first place. Just the other day, when she smiled at me while looking out of the corner of her eyes, I felt my heart warm and remembered the feeling all over again as if it were the first time we met. It’s something you just know and feel that does exist but must be protected, respected, and nurtured.” Sam
We’re suggesting that nostalgia might be a way to bring the two of you closer by reminding you what you once had together and what is still possible.
Today, find something that the two of you enjoyed in the past, that you have stopped doing and would like to experience again. Plan when you are going to do this activity again.
(This article is an excerpt from Susie and Otto’s book, “Red Hot Love Relationships”)