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Healing a Broken
Heart
"Allowing the Pain in our Lives to Help us
Heal"
by Susie and Otto Collins
Last year, we
had been sick for two weeks with colds and flu symptoms. At times, we were in
pain and had not been at our best with each other. We hadn't been as creative
as we normally were in our work. Plus, some old, limiting mental beliefs had
surfaced for each of us and had kept us from being as close and connected as we
normally are.
It's not only health issues that can cause old issues to
resurface and come between two people. It can be any emotional or physical
event, such as a breakup or divorce, that happens in our lives to rock our
equilibrium.
While our recent illnesses were in no way serious, we were
reminded just how easy it is to slip into distance, disconnection and
disharmony with the people around us. We were also reminded what a gift it is
to have another opportunity to heal what is unhealed inside us.
Painful
situations can be very obvious like a serious illness, the death of a loved one
or a break up or divorce-- or they can be moments of frustration when our child
is being difficult or not living up to his or her potential.
The point is that when we are
faced with events that shake our world, even in a minor way, we have two
choices--we can either stuff our feelings down and maybe lash out at others,
creating distance between us and the people in our lives, or we can choose to
use this situation to heal and create closer relationships.
It isn't always easy to do--but
one of the keys to healing any situation in your life when there is pain is to
find ways to allow yourself to feel all of your feelings--whatever they
are--and to acknowledge that the pain is there.
We've discovered that physical
pain can and usually does mask emotional pain. When we can recognize what's
underneath our physical pain, acknowledge it and maybe talk about it, both the
emotional and physical pain begins to lessen.
The idea is to shift your
attention to be with your pain, to feel it and allow yourself to move through
it, giving you another opportunity to heal perhaps something deeper than you
realized.
It
may mean getting some support in the way of therapy to help you move through
your pain and heal a broken heart--or it might be taking some time to meditate,
do some journaling, talk to a friend or take a walk by yourself in the woods.
A woman we know
lost her mother a few years ago and as you can imagine, it was a very difficult
time for her. Recently, something happened in their family which triggered her
to once again mourn the loss of her mother. She allowed herself to feel her
grief--she cried and then she called her son and told him about what she was
feeling. As she talked about her mom, she realized that she felt a closeness
with her mother and also with her son.
What this woman did was to
acknowledge her painful feelings and then allow her grief to flow without
hanging onto depression. She also opened to someone who loved her and who she
loved and in the process, felt much better.
When you find yourself in pain
and old feelings and possibly limiting beliefs are coming to the surface in
your life, here are some suggestions to help you to heal:
1. Commit to healing and to love.
2. Acknowledge your pain--don't
try to stuff it down and pretend that it doesn't exist.
3. Look at things in your life
the way they really are. Be careful of the "stories" you tell yourself about
the situations that happen to you. Don't create "stories" about the situations
that make them worse than they really are.
4. Feel what you are feeling in
your body--locate where you are feeling the pain and breathe through it.
5. Talk to
someone who cares about you.
6. Allow the feelings to move out of your body. Give yourself
permission to heal.
7. Don't distance and shut yourself off from your loved ones.
Allow them to love you and allow yourself to love them back. Even though it
might be difficult, think of these situations as opportunities to move into a
greater, more empowered you. It is possible to create closer, more connected
relationships during these times and we urge you to have that as your
intention.
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Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and "How to Heal Your Broken
Heart" are experts at helping people get more of the love they really want.
Learn the 5 keys to a closer, more loving relationship, click below for your
free 5-part mini-course: http://www.Relationshipgold.com
***********************
For a free mini-course on getting over a relationship breakup or
divorce,
click here.
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