The One Thing You Have to Have for a Great Marriage

For your marriage to grow deeper in love and connection, gratitude has to be an attitude you carry with you every day.

Gratitude is not only healthy for your relationship but it’s healthy for you physically and emotionally. It’s a fact that we’ve proven over and over in our own lives…

When our thoughts are mostly focused on what we appreciate in ourselves and others, we bring more love, health, prosperity and well-being into our lives.

When our thoughts are mostly focused on what we fear might happen, what upsets us or what went wrong–we bring MORE upset, fear, lack and disconnection into our lives.

Gratitude is something that we all know we SHOULD have and SHOULD express but often “life” and our beliefs get in the way.

So what might hold you back from “being” and expressing gratitude in your marriage?

You might have any or all of these beliefs about gratitude…

-“If I tell him I’m grateful, he’ll stop doing it and quit trying.”

-“She doesn’t tell me what I’m doing “right” or thank me so why should I tell her?”

-“He’ll think I’m needy or that I have an ulterior motive.”

-“I’m afraid she’ll take advantage of me and think she can run over me if I’m TOO grateful.”

The truth is that if you have any of those beliefs, there’s probably been a good reason that you developed them.

They served you in some way in the past. They protected you in some way.

The choice for you now is to take a look at what you are believing and decide if you still want to carry those beliefs into your current relationships and the present moment.

For the two of us, gratitude is a state of mind that feeds our relationship.

But it wasn’t always so…

While we were always very grateful to have found each other and create the deep love we have, we didn’t always appreciate each other the way we could have–or the way we do now.

While we were pretty good at the “thank you” stuff when we did things for one another–

What we weren’t so good at was appreciating the true essence of each other.

In other words, at times, we’d get hung up on proving we were “right” and the other was wrong.

We didn’t always appreciate what we each brought to our relationship.

We didn’t always appreciate the contributions we each brought to our life together.

We didn’t always listen to each other.

Now gratitude is a daily practice for us and that feeds our passion and love for each other.

We start the day appreciating each other before we get out of bed.

We are learning not to interrupt each other and truly listen to their ideas.

(For more simple ideas on how to communicate better, go to

Believe it our not, listening with your full attention is demonstrating gratitude.

It’s being grateful and honoring the essence and talents of the other person.

And we all want to be loved for who we truly are–not for who the other person wants us to be.

If you like this idea, you can start small and you can do it by yourself. You do not have to have your partner buy into it.

When you start focusing on gratitude, you’ll start seeing shifts in your life for the better.

There will be a “softening” between the two of you–even if the other person can’t quite put their finger on what is different in you.

Of course you can also work together and make gratitude a fun exercise.

Some people keep a gratitude journal and write 3-5 things they are grateful for that day–and then share them (or not) with someone they love.

This practice helps you to start focusing your attention in a more positive way.

As you move into expressing more gratitude, step out of the norm of just saying “thanks” although that’s certainly a good start if you’re not doing it already.

Feel into yourself about how you’d like to be appreciated and then stay open to watching how you might show your appreciation for others in a different

We used the example of listening to one another and not insisting on being right as a way of appreciating the talents of the other person.

That’s just one example and we’re sure you can come up with more ways to express and live gratitude.

Let this be a wake-up call to create more love in your life by opening to more gratitude to flow in and out.


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