Pursuing a Happy Relationship and Marriage

Recently, we watched the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness” which gave us much food for thought about overcoming challenges while holding the vision for what you want.The story was based on parts of Chris Gardner’s life story and although we don’t want to spoil it for you if you haven’t seen it, the film is a great example of someone who is successful because he held his vision and he was willing to do what most people aren’t willing to do.

He was persistent in following his dream, even when everything seemed stacked against him and his vision was more powerful than the pain in the moment.

Having this kind of vision, focus, persistence and doing what few are willing to do is what it takes to have a great relationship–of any kind.

We’ll give you a small, practical example of what that means…

Last night, while Susie was at her pilates class, Otto left to go exercise and to do a few other things.

Because he hadn’t left a note saying where he was and he couldn’t remember whether he had told Susie he was going out or not, he called home when he knew that Susie would be there. He let her know where he was and what time he might be expected back home.

Because of his vision for what he wants in an intimate relationship, he did something that other people may consider an act of a “hen-pecked” husband.

At another time in his life and with another partner, he might have felt that making a phone call of that sort was restricting his freedom and he wouldn’t have done it.

Now, he knows that that phone call was an action of courtesy, respect and love–and in keeping with the vision that we both have for our relationship.

Many people write to us about their relationship challenges and if one thing is clear from what they write, it’s this…

They don’t have the relationships that they really want because they are focusing so hard on what they don’t want instead of holding onto their vision for what they do want.

Unlike Chris Gardner (the main character in the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness”), many people are choosing to allow the challenges they are faced with to stop them cold in their tracks.

Simply put– many people (who don’t have what they want) aren’t willing to do the things that other people are willing to do to create what they want.

Now, we all get stuck in our challenges from time to time, but what can move us out of them is making a shift in thinking to where we want to be.

Is that positive thinking mumbo-jumbo?

No, it’s simply focusing our attention in a different way to move through challenges that present themselves in our paths.

Alan Cohen, in his book Relax into Wealth, tells a great story about selling his car. As he was driving to meet a potential buyer, the car stalled and quit. The buyer of course didn’t buy the car at that time.

As the car was being towed, Alan held his vision that the car would sell and that he would do what it took to repair it.

The repairs turned out to be minor and after the car was fixed, he called the potential buyer and she bought it.

Are relationships that simple to “fix”?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no–but what we know is that if you hold your vision for what you want and do things to move toward that vision, it may not look like you originally thought, but your life will change in positive ways.

Here are some questions to help you create the relationships that you want…

1. Create your vision. Many people don’t have a vision for what they want in their relationships and creating one is the first place to start.

What do you want your relationship to look like? To feel like?

2. What types of things do you need to be doing to move toward making your vision a reality?

Do you need to change some thoughts or actions?

3. What can you do to create what you want that few people are doing?

This week, we invite you to look at the vision you want for your relationships and life. Renew your resolve to move forward toward your dreams.


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