Instant Relationship Breakthroughs – part 2

An instant relationship breakthrough is that moment when one or both of you make a shift to do, say or act differently and there’s an opening, a sense of understanding or feeling of connection and communion in the relationship.

If your intention is to create breakthroughs like this, then you will create the type of relationships that you want and have more love, passion, intimacy and connection.

To give you an idea of what we’re talking about, here are a few more “Instant Relationship Breakthroughs” that you can begin practicing right now to make your relationships better…

Instant Relationship Breakthrough Idea #3 –Make a definite “yes” or a “no”

“Yes or no” is a way of discerning emotions–a measurement tool for gauging your emotions and making quicker decisions on how you want to run your life and for getting unstuck.

We are constantly making choices, either consciously or unconsciously, about how we will use our time, who we will be with, and what we will do.

All these decisions (or lack of decisiveness) positively or negatively affect our happiness. When we don’t make a definite “yes” or “no,” we get stuck in “maybe” land and others decide for us by default how we’ll live our lives.

When people get stuck in “maybe” land, they tend to become angry and resentful but the fact is they didn’t make a choice.

Here’s an example of what we’re talking about…

Imagine you and your husband or wife decide to go to the local movie theater this Friday night. There are several possible choices of movies at your theater and you begin talking about what you’d like to see with your partner or friend.

Imagine that your spouse has a strong preference toward one movie and you’d really like to see another but you don’t say anything. You give your spouse a weak, “maybe” or “I don’t care” and end up seeing the movie they wanted to see.

Later, you feel resentful and angry because this always seems to happen and you “never get to see the movie that you want to see.”

A breakthrough moment is when you empower yourself and express what you want, giving a clear “yes” or “no.”

A lot of people feel anger and resentment toward others but what they actually may be feeling is resentment towards themselves for not having the confidence to go for what they really want.

So how do you know whether a decision you are faced with is a “yes” or a “no”?

1. When someone asks you to do something or a choice is before you, take a moment to quiet yourself and breathe.

2. Check in with how you are feeling inside. To practice this, think of a definite “yes” in your life, something you are absolutely certain about. It might be “I’m a great dancer” or “I’m a good cook” or even “I have green eyes.”

When you think of the “yes,” what do you feel inside your body? Where do you feel it?

When there’s a “yes” for Otto, he feels a strength inside himself and a sense of expansion. Now think of a definite “no” in your life. What does it feel like in your body?

When there’s a “no” for both of us, there’s a sinking and heaviness in our solar plexus and chest. This feeling may be somewhere else for you and it might not be a sinking feeling or heaviness. It might be a dull ache or feeling of being uncomfortable.

Whenever we are faced with a decision, if we take the time to go within, we can feel whether something is a “yes” or a “no.” By doing this, we bypass the wishy-washy place of being stuck in “maybe.”

This doesn’t just apply to making decisions about which movie to see. We invite you to do this exercise of consciousness on a regular basis about all the things in your life.

When you do, you will be clear about who you are and what you are feeling so there’s no chance of assumptions being created that get in the way of connecting with others.

Ask yourself these questions…

1. Where do you feel a “yes” in your body?

2. Where do you feel a “no” in your body?

3. In what areas of your life do you need to give a clear “yes” or “no”?

4. What are you willing to do to begin practicing this?

If you’re interested in finding out more our other “Instant Relationship Breakthroughs,” visit

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